아이엘츠 라이팅 샘플 - 밴드 5 &시험관 코멘트

IELTS Writing

오늘 샘플 라이팅 주제는 

튜터에게 수업을 지속할 수 없는 이유를 설명하는 편지를 쓰는 것입니다. 

오늘은 밴드 스코어 5를 받은 답안을 살펴보고 평가자가 내린 코멘트를 보여드릴게요.

지시문에서 풀타임으로 일을 하고 있는 당신이 파트타임으로 듣고 있는 수업을 지속할 수 없는 이유를 쓰고

앞으로 취할 행동에 대해서 쓰라고 지시를 해주었어요.

시간적 여유 부족, 신체적 피곤함  등을 이유로 들어서 편지를 썼는데요, 

Sample Writing

IELTS Writing Task General (Task 1) 

Sample 1 1. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Sample 10 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have a full time job and are also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to your tutor. In your letter : describe the situation explain why you cannot continue at this time say what action you would like to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ................. ,

model answer: This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5 score.

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Muhamad Abdul. I am taking a part-time evening course. I am having a hard time keeping up with this course. I am afraid I cannot continue the course. My  problem is, I have a full-time job, from 9am – 5pm. Sometimes, I am asked to stay extra hours, to finish up the rest of the work. That is because the holidays are coming up soon. Also I have to do some work preparations for the next day.

At night when I get home, I am too tired to even prepare a dinner for myself. Also I have no time to study for this course.

I would like drop this course this quarter. Then take it again the next quarter. So, please accept my situation. Thank you for your cooperation

Sincerely 

M. Abdul

(135 words)

평가자의 코멘트에는 첫째, 길이가 135자로 150자에 미치지 못해 마이너스가 된다는 것입니다.  두번째는 문법 적으로 쉽고 짧은 문장들로만 구성된 문법적으로 단조로운 글이라고 지적했습니다. 

또, 전체적으로는 편지를 쓰는 목적이나 의도가 잘 드러났고 문법적으로 크게 틀린 곳은 없었기 때문에 밴드 5점을 획득한 것으로 보이네요  

Here is the examiner's comment:

The reason for writing is very clear in this letter but it is not clear who the letter is to. The writer gives information to cover all three bullet points, but only one is well extended, and the whole response is under length at 135 words, so it loses marks for this.

The information is organised and it is easy to follow the message. A range of linkers is used across the answer and they are generally accurate, but in some places, especially the first paragraph, sentences are not well-linked. The range of vocabulary is sufficient for the task and there are some quite precise expressions. There are no errors in word form, but some very basic spelling errors occur. In terms of grammar, the range is rather limited with many very short sentences and few complex structures. Grammar is generally well-controlled, however, with only a few minor errors and occasional inappropriate punctuation